I haven’t updated this blog for months. Mainly because I have nothing much to share. I have been reading and writing and rewriting and watching a lot of TV. I gave up on one form of exercise and started walking and now I have a bike.
Most recently, a lot of truly tragic things has taken a lot of my focus, in the Congo, in the Sudan, in the Ukraine, in Gaza, and I hope that we can see an end to the bloodshed and a peaceful resolution for the innocent men, women and children caught up in these conflicts soon.
As the title says, today is my birthday and I wanted to share something that I hoped would be a little light-hearted. It hasn’t exactly turned out that way but that is most of my work yes? Unexpectedly dark? I at least hope that anyone reading can have a good time.
The story, “Excerpts of an Account of an Expedition into the Aripo Savannas Dinosaur Reserve” is actually another version of the story that became “Wild Meat”. I had listened to a podcast about the American Hippo Bill while trying to write a story about dinosaurs and this is what came out. It isn’t perfect, of course, and ultimately I much prefer the direction I later chose. But I wanted to share this one anyway and hope that it is entertaining. And so:
“Excerpts of an Account of an Expedition into the Aripo Savannas Dinosaur Reserve.”
By Shari Paul
“In recent years, as we scientists strive to lift the standing of our field of study in the world of academia, it has come to our attention that we are woefully plagued by a particular type of amateur researcher, the ‘armchair scholar’. That is to say these individuals, while perhaps well versed in whatever subject has drawn their interest via various texts, have no practical experience with the subject in the field. Granted, this is how many of our scientific fields were born, it has been many centuries and times have changed. Our modern armchair enthusiasts can be, I daresay, dangerously naïve, much to the detriment of themselves and others in their care and employ. Take, for example, my naturalist friend, Mr Robert C___.
“I am assured that all are aware that my esteemed friend and I have been on opposite ends of various arguments over the nature of those animals that were once considered extinct. It was perhaps quite easy to do so when none in living memory had the good fortune to observe these creatures in the field. Our forebears did the best they could with the information they had and though significant discoveries have since advanced our understanding in leaps and bounds, it was clear that the record was incomplete and therefore all conclusions drawn were speculation. Of course, that was until the Aripo Event.
“Fifty years to the day, we are fortunate in ways our predecessors could not begin to fathom and can now say with certainty that the great beasts they called ‘terrible lizards’ were more than just wild, monstrous animals. And it is because of that I say with absolute certainty that my learned friend’s decision to accompany the American expedition into the Aripo Savannas Dinosaur Reserve is nothing short of madness, no doubt born of feelings of great inadequacy in the face of the successes of his peers and the unacknowledged fear of dying in obscurity to those that preceded him. He would be wise to accept this fate and refrain from this suicide mission led by charlatans, but I am sure that he instead sees this as means of legitimizing his work.
“To my friend I say this directly: if you wish to call yourself a scientist that badly, apply to the Dean of Admissions for the new academic year at the end of August. It would be far more rewarding and far less unnecessarily dangerous than walking into a dinosaur den.”
Dr Claudia R___
“February 10, 19__
“The time is 18:22 hours. Weather is sunny, clear with a few cumulus clouds and almost no wind. We are at Camp B from the Ranger station and shall begin our trek into the reserve proper in the morning. The virgin forest is nearly impossible to cut through, but the American soldiers have been making quick work of it. Mr B___ and Mr D___ also claim to have seen thicker forest growth than this in the Amazon and central Africa. We have seen very little sign of the creatures we have set out to find, but it is long established that they prefer the familiar setting of the savannas to the danger of venturing too closely to human habitation. Nevertheless, the Americans have kept watch every night since we set out. Better safe than sorry.
“We also received mail from the station this morning, which included a copy of Dr __’s letter to the editor on the expedition. I am not surprised that she considers this expedition foolhardy. When one has grown accustomed to the relative comfort of one’s ivory towers, the taste for adventure must necessarily decline. I shall remember to thank her in my Nobel speech.”
Robert C___
“The Aripo Event is perhaps the most significant geological event in recent history. It is possible that even a century from now, scientists shall be able to uncover new details of the event and its effect on the region. The impact crater can be seen many kilometres in almost every direction, given the cavern it opened in the side of the mountain range. There are aerial photographs, soil samples, eyewitness accounts and various measurements being studied in the halls of the most prestigious institutions in Great Britain and the United States. Outside the field, it is an irresistible tourist attraction, drawing the attention of curious onlookers the world over and boosting the economy of our tiny colony. Certainly, it has cemented our place in the record of significant events in the history of our planet.
“For centuries, we have tried to make sense of what happened to the great creatures that once roamed Ancient Earth. While we have learned a lot from their fossilized bones, there is still much that we wish we could know. Their life cycles were no different from any animal alive today. They were no more intelligent than any other animal, except us. They built no monuments and left us no works of art. Their brains did not develop any consciousness of their situation despite their gargantuan sizes. And yet, as we are only just beginning to appreciate, these creatures represented life on this planet for eons.
“The Aripo Event has changed everything. Dinosaurs once again walk the earth, and though for now they are contained to scattered pockets around the sites of impact, there is little doubt that they will soon test the limits of their natural boundaries. In this regard, my dear friend has something of the right idea: to gain a better understanding of the creatures with which we once more share a planet—should this be the same creatures and not an alien species transported here via asteroid ark—we must travel into their territory and study them. But at the cost of our lives and that of our companions? What folly. Surely not.
“Indeed, this is not the first venture into the reserve. The loss of life that resulted on those prior occasions convinced the government that it was in the best interest of everyone to restrict access to the area and resettle the inhabitants of the nearby communities. This is something that our American associates can appreciate given the disastrous results of their Hippo Bill. That singular piece of legislation has basically rendered great portions of the southeastern part of that nation uninhabitable for humans except by the bold or the unfortunate. Worse, it was a proposal made by the very same gentlemen who have now led my unfortunate friend on what amounts to a suicide mission.
“Time and again, we in this colony have been made aware of our inconsequential presence in the grand scheme of things, even as we are lauded for our ‘strategic location’ in the region. Which is it really, no one can or is willing to answer. Instead, every so often we are forced to deal with the likes of these gentlemen, Mr B___ and Mr D___, and whatever nonsense they have decided we must step aside and allow them to engage in. After the not insignificant damage they have inflicted on North America, they have come here in an attempt to ‘right their Great Error’ by means of the capture and export of certain beasts that they hope will reassert the natural order and solve their hippopotamus problem. This is a laughable assumption at best. Who is to say that they will not worsen the problem of their own making?
“Mark my words, this expedition is nothing short of a dangerous lark that they will abandon at the earliest opportunity. Godspeed to my hapless friend, I hope that he and his associates come to no great harm on this fool’s errand.”
Dr Claudia R___
“February 12, 19__
“It is now 19:14 hours and we have not seen any sign of Mr D___ in a little over one day. Mr B___ has not expressed any alarm on the matter and the Americans have set up camp downwind from the watering hole so that we might better observe the beasts. For the time being, we are to proceed as originally planned and begin collection of such carnivores as likely to challenge and win in conflict against the hippopotami. Mr B__ and Captain M__ and his Buffalo Soldiers have been speculating on perhaps capturing Hadrosauridae to take care of the water lotus problem and Tyrannosaurids to contain them.
“The disappearance of Bedassie and the injury of our photographer, Reyahd, has certainly soured the mood among the locals. Nasreen, our brave and constant reporter, has taken on the role of nursemaid and has at least kept him calm and hydrated until we are able to make our way back to Camp B. Without Mr D__ however, we are not returning anytime soon.
“In the interim, I am grateful to my assistants, Jack and Wendi, for their unfailing commitment to their work. Together we have catalogued over 20 different species and made approximates of their population. Though the reserve itself accounts for just under 2000 hectares, the animals have spread and marked out large territories. Unfortunately, this has had a noticeable effect on the native fauna. There is no sign of the common alouatta macconnelli nor the leopardus pardalis, nor even the glaucidium brasilianum. I fear that the arrival of these great reptilian beasts has driven them out of the area, though that is perhaps preferable to being hunted to extinction.”
Robert C___
“It has now been 72 hours since last contact with anyone involved in the expedition into the Aripo Savannas Dinosaur Reserve. The American government and Trinidad colonial administration are now scrambling to arrange an aerial survey to ascertain the whereabouts of the expedition but at least one report from the Ranger Station indicated that fresh human remains have been spotted at least two miles from Camp B. That is cause for concern, to say the least. If the creatures have extended their territory to the Ranger Station, we stand to lose a major means of monitoring the situation in the reserve and risk loss of more land.
“To the families of the people involved, let me first extend my deepest condolences. Your relatives were promised considerable financial compensation for their services and instead have most certainly met their end in the most horrible manner. If all is not yet lost, I hope the rescue effort brings a swift end to this ill-fated farce.
“To those who had previously lent their support to this expedition, I hope that the fates of the individuals involved weighs heavily on your consciences. This was a fool’s errand instigated by confidence tricksters and a warmongering military officer with dreams of glory and wealth, advised by an enthusiastic but woefully inexperienced adventurer-turned-naturalist. There could have been no hope from its inception of any other outcome than this. I will miss my rival and hope that others shall learn that one cannot simply march into the territory of dangerous beasts and expect to emerge unscathed. This is a great tragedy for our respective nations, and I hope that when it is all settled, we can move forward wiser and warier of similar grand ideas.”
Dr Claudia R___
“February 20th, 19__
“It is, by my best estimate, a little after 0600 hours in the morning, and already quite hot. From what we have managed to salvage from the American camp, we have enough food for a y least a few weeks but very little water. The medical supplies have worked wonders in treating young Reyahd and driving down Wendi’s fever, but Jack has also discovered copious amounts of smuggled alcohol. Despite the obvious danger, he has been drinking since late yesterday evening.
“If Dr ___ and her colleagues could see us now, they would be stunned to learn that the expedition has been incredibly successful, at least on my end. We have made observations of the feeding and nurturing habits of various animals last seen in the Cretaceous period and also, unfortunately, become intimately acquainted with the hunting abilities of various carnivores. Dr ___ had asked with much disdain at what cost this knowledge. I can now say that this includes nearly twenty Buffalo soldiers, Mr D___ almost on the first day, Captain M__ and poor Reyahd’s right arm.
“A bright spot in this sad affair: a new class of creature has emerged from the impact region, brightly-coloured and plumaged pterosaurs! One particular beast has taken a liking to our camp and built a roost nearby. I have named it ‘Claudia’ in honour of my esteemed colleague. It is at least 20 feet tall with a wingspan almost twice that and a snout no less than five feet long. It has, thankfully, stuck to feeding off of small reptiles from the nearby watering hole but otherwise does not bother us. In the event that Mr B___ has survived and makes his way back to us, until such time, I hope that we can keep dear Claudia as a guardian.”
Robert C___
“PS: If any part of this record survives, I want Dr R___ to have all of my materials and accumulated research. It is unfailingly tragic how our institutions of knowledge hoard that in their towers with the avarice of legendary dragons.”
“The Governor’s Office,
“#_ ______
“Trinidad, British West Indies,
“Dear Sir,
“It is with the barest sliver of hope that I am writing to you on a matter of the utmost importance. More than a week ago, a group of Americans soldiers, led by two gentlemen of dubious reputation, and with the assistance of an aspiring paleo-naturalist, Mr Robert C__, ventured into that region now formally designated as the Aripo Savannas Dinosaur Reserve. You would be aware of this, I am assured, because it was with your approval that they did so.
“You would also be aware by now that this expedition has come to a bad end. There has been almost no sign of the expedition save one sighting of human remains and, on one occasion, the sound of rapid gunfire. I have also recently learned that the results of your aerial survey proved inconclusive, as it was forcibly aborted by the appearance of a new class of flying creatures from the Aripo Event. I am writing to you now to formally request the dispatch of a unit of His Majesty’s forces to lead a rescue and recovery mission into the Reserve.
“We at the university have been keeping a close eye on events taking place in the Reserve. As you are aware, the Rangers still at the station have been making tentative forays into the woods in search of survivors. It has come to our attention, that they may have made contact with a survivor, one Mr D___, who insisted on returning to ‘finish the job’. I think we can all agree that Mr D___ should be left to settle his own affairs, but as for the others, who he claims to have spotted at a camp at the heart of the Reserve, it is imperative that they be retrieved and returned to safety.
“Your advisors will tell you that this matter should be written off as a bad job and that you wash your hands of it. I would like to do the same. However, that is not the hand that fate has dealt us, especially you, who signed off on the expedition in the first place. In fact, I am sure that it would not be too difficult to recover such correspondence as would have led to your approval of the expedition. I have already made contact with an associate in the United States who was awaiting receipt of such data as may have been recovered of the animals in the Reserve, as well as those who were hoping to collect the animals themselves.
“I need not remind you of your duty as representative of the Crown to seek the best interests of His Majesty’s subjects, and that the possible unintended expansion of the animals outside of the Reserve is most certainly not that. I expect your full cooperation in having this matter peacefully settled at the earliest opportunity.”
“Your humble servant,
Dr Claudia R___
“February 22nd, 19__
“It is mid-morning. I have lost my pocket-watch and cannot be sure of the accuracy of the recovered timepieces among the personal effects of our unfortunate companions. It rained a little at dawn and has not since, but I am worried about the weather. It is the dry season, and the grasses of the Savannas are kindling, the earth is dry and cracked under the heat and the watering hole has been steadily shrinking. It is also likely that the ecosystem has been overwhelmed by the invasive species and we are now facing the perfect conditions for a terrible disaster.
“Reyahd has finally begun to show signs of improvement and is able to make a small circuit of our camp twice a day. Nasreen has been able to leave off nursemaid duty to attend to writing a full report for her employer. She has confided in our Faye that when this is over, she intends to request comparatively quieter assignments in fashion or the arts.
“Jack, I am afraid, is a lost cause. He has succumbed to drink and will spend hours imbibing when not forced to work for his supper. Wendi and Faye have been forced to become the backbone of the camp, ensuring that we and the animals we could not free from the Americans’ pens are cared for. I cannot say that I will be able to speak favourably of Jack’s involvement in this expedition in the future.
“There is but one bright spot from this tragic business: Claudia continues to show marked intelligence and a keen interest in our survival. I understand that this may be because she has designated our camp as part of her territory, but I am grateful for it all the same. I have had the wild idea that she may be a means of escape, if so inclined, if things become too difficult. The arrival of the pterosaurs suggests a trend that strongly implies we make haste in our departure from this camp.”
Mr Robert C ___
“PS: It has been brought to my attention that Mr D___ is not only alive but is on the trail of the beast that first devastated the camp. I cannot say that this development is a comfortable one, but he has at least informed us that there are Rangers at the station and that if we make an attempt to return to it, he will provide cover. I will put the matter to vote.”
“PPS: Motion passed. We shall pack up and make for Camp B at dawn.”
“Excerpt of final Judges’ Report of the Royal Commission of Enquiry into the C__Expedition into the Aripo Savannas Dinosaur Reserve.
“In summation, it is clear that this expedition was an unmitigated disaster from start to finish, beginning with the absurd proposal of those two gentlemen, continuing into the poor planning and loose organization they arranged with the assistance of Captain M__, among others, and finally, with the failure of all involved to secure proper means of escape from the scene at the first sign of trouble. There are twenty-nine souls lost, including both gentlemen, the entire military unit and one of Mr C___’s team. Worse, the fact that His Majesty’s representative approved this venture, without giving a proper examination of the details, has brought the office of Governor of the colony into disrepute. It is almost a blessing that the great conflagration that set in as the survivors made their escape took care of most of the danger.
“As to the other matter, that of the creatures and data that were salvaged, we advise that they be handed over to the university for further study. Mr C___’s efforts are commendable, and his sacrifice is not to be forgotten, but it is best that these matters be handled by those with the proper qualifications to do so.
“The Governor is to be formally reprimanded and a record of same affixed to his service. The animals that the Americans sought to recover shall be delivered to them, along with the remains of their men, as much as can be recovered and identified, in as such time as convenience allows.
“Finally, the custody of the flying creature, named “Claudia”, is consigned to the zoo where it shall be cared for at His Majesty’s pleasure. The personal effects of Mr C___ as laid out in his informal but legal last will and testament, shall be conveyed to Dr Claudia R___ at the university.
“This is the judgement agreed upon by those invested with the power to do so by His Majesty, King E___ in the year of Our Lord, 19__.”
shari writes stories 